Day 1 of 30 days of self-disclosure: the real obstacles you face are not technical or strategic problems. They are issues at a deeper level that require some kind of transformation in your thinking to overcome them.
Day 2 The Day I Told The Whole Truth: It’s easier to step out of that prison when your brain has changed shape and your automatic thinking has changed with it.
Day 3 A Misfit Among Misfits: Who you spend time with is who you become. “upgrade your peer group”
Day 4 The Angel On My Right Shoulder. “Everything is going to be okay, you deserve it”.
Day 5 The Demon On My Left Shoulder. “You wanted to play bigger? Prove it. Make something happen here.” Now, could this idea be something worth pursuing? Maybe. Maybe not. The angel wants to try. The demon wants to not fail. The angel talks about choosing. The demon talks about obligations. The angel tells you the whole truth. The demon tells you half truths.
Day 6 He’s Tucked Up With His Wife Now. There are few things in life that are pure and straightforward. Zigzag are everywhere in nature after all.
Day 7 You Open Your Safe And Find Ashes. “One of the few things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, give it all, right away, every time.”
Day 8 Thin Places And Breaking Promises. Do experiments: “What do you get in trouble for most at work? What do you do that causes most of your stress?” 80% of my stress came from that cycle of despair I’d set up for myself. What is the one common thing that cause you stress.
Day 9 The Power Of YOUR Self-Disclosure. Think about how it can help your customers. Think about how it can help you understand them better and communicate with them more effectively. Think about how it can let them trust you at a deeper level.
Day 10 On The Verge Of Orphanhood. We are born screaming for attention and desperate for love. It’s a survival skill. The most important one. Entrepreneurs need mentors. Look for someone who has the kind of life you would like to have. Find someone whose values you can get along with. Don’t just look at their business success, look at their home life too and ask yourself, “Is that something I would like to emulate?”
Day 11 I have a confession to make. I am a web designer and I haven’t touched a piece of code in 5 months. And those 5 months have been the most successful of my business to date. Stepping back from the nitty gritty of the coding and letting others, who really love doing it take over, is probably the best decision I’ve ever made. To just focus on copywriting. get all the team to just work in their talent zone.
Day 12 Dead Behind The Eyes. You speak to their core energy, the animal within. The thing they are denying but the thing they want to embrace more than anything. “Am I worth fighting for?”
Day 13 What If The Truth Is Ugly? Be vulnerable. Be resilient. Tell the truth about yourself. Even when it’s ugly. Share that with the people in your life – at work and at home. Because if you can’t do it at home, you’ll never do it at work. Do this and you will earn the respect and trust of your customers. You will form a bond. And they will feel compelled to reach back.
Day 14 A Violent Collision… In My Gut to go to Tony Robbins event. pay attention to the things that make you feel nervous and a little uncomfortable when they are mentioned. That fear is a guide for you. A little signal from your subconscious about what you really want to do and who you really want to be.
Day 15 Once You Get Attached, They Go And Die On You. My real problem was NOT that I didn’t have enough control over things. My problem was that I had TOO MUCH control.
Day 16 Sometimes What You Need Is Not More Action. Some people are procrastinators and some people are obsessive do-ers. “The question “What shall we do about it? ” is only asked by those who do not understand the problem. When light is brought, the darkness vanishes at once. Sometimes what you need is not more action. Sometimes you simply need more light.
Day 17 This Is Off The Record… The truth was so much better than anything I could have made up or extrapolated from the ‘official’ version of events. If you really want to connect with your prospects – or just people in general – stop editing yourself. Tell your customers your off-the-record stories. You could even start writing a no-holds-barred email to your list right now.
Day 18 A Self-Hating Web Designer. That feeling of excitement and satisfaction when you do something and it works, that never fades. You get that little buzz every time. And the more you do it, you start to get that buzz when something doesn’t work too. It’s all testing, it’s all progress.
Day 19 It’s Just Easier To Say “My Tummy Hurts”. Have you ever noticed that big arguments always start over tiny little things? Communication is hearing what’s not being said… You can entertain people as a story-teller, but you can transform them if you can really listen and understand what their needs are.
Day 20 The World Would Have Labelled Her A Housewife. Labels and language can be dangerous things. “Child of War” doesn’t sound like a very empowering identity. The world will label you, and if you make those labels a part of your identity you’ll be all too aware of what someone like you can’t do or shouldn’t do. The constraints you think you have to live within, the baggage you carry around, you can put all that stuff down any moment you please.
Day 21 Addiction. We’re all addicted to something, why not this? Think less. Act more. PS – I’m going to email the people who didn’t sign up to get this series to see if they’d like to catch up. If you’ve been reading and enjoying the series would you be so kind as to reply to this email saying a few words I can share with my main email list? Just tell me what you’re enjoying about the emails and why someone should sign up to receive them.
Day 22 Perfection is Waiting For A Bus That Will Never Come. A year ago today my husband proposed after dinner. So when you have a week in your business where everything is going beautifully, don’t be surprised or disheartened when the next week is one disaster after another. Success in business, relationships or any other aspect of life, does not come in the form of a steady gradient. It’s a frenzy of ups and downs as you climb, and the deeper the trough, the higher the peak that will follow. “Your real problem is that you think you’re not supposed to have any problems.”
Day 23 Commitment. “The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.” Possibly the biggest reason for the recent growth in my business is that I decided to raise to a bigger game. I started doing things even when I couldn’t see where the benefit was going to come from. I just knew it was something I should do. When you stop worrying about not being able to see the whole picture, and you just focus on jumping to the first step, maybe the only step you can see, everything just gets easier.
Day 24 Instant Shame. Instant Remorse. A much more realistic expectation to have of yourself is to be willing to talk about things. To say sorry. To accept your flaws.
Show the world that you may be broken, you may be wrong, you may pain others, but that’s not going to stop you getting out there and making an impact. Too many people shy away. You are a rare, courageous breed. The world needs you.
Day 25 Time Travel… In A Way. If you want to shortcut into the future and fast forward your results by getting a professional to write your copy, let me know. I’m getting booked up quite a way in advance these days so if you’re serious and you’d like to throw your hat in my preferred client ring for the next few months, go here:
Day 26 “Please Love Me”. So it’s worth noticing the difference between what you say and what you actually mean. When you become more aware of yourself you become more. And when you become more, so does your business, so do your relationships, so does your life.
Day 27 Helping or Hurting? I watched for a few seconds more. It was hard to tell for sure, but it looked like he threw a few punches. I called the police.
Day 28 Born Worthy. One of the biggest obstacles you and I have to overcome is our convoluted subconscious rules for how things have to be. More often than not we have an infinite number of ways for things to be wrong but only one or two ways for things to be right. Act as though you’ve already lost it all, because that’s when you can drop the BS and do what really it takes.
Day 29 30 Years of Self-Disclosure. To keep me true to my self-disclosure, and keep me dedicated to identifying the things I really need to work on to grow personally and professionally, I’m going to continue the self-discloure series in a monthly print newsletter. More about that tomorrow.
Day 30 The Finale. Caring about your customers is one thing. Having them believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that you care, is another.
Rules os self disclosure:
1) It is always OK to tell the complete truth, even when it is embarrassing.
2) Don’t expect to be good at everything, and don’t try to be either.
We live in an 80/20 world. Own your weaknesses as well as your strengths.
3) Remember you are not your work.
The people who care about you believe you are significant and worthy of love even if all you did today was wake up breathing.
4) You are either helping or hurting.
People only inflict pain on others because they are trying to deal with the pain inside themselves. Always communicate with people’s highest intention.
5) There is no good without bad, no bad without good.
This is true of every thing, every event and every person.
6) A short term solution is no solution at all.
Short term solutions are half truths doled up by the demon on your left shoulder. Long term solutions are the whole truth whispered by the angel on your right shoulder.
7) Nothing is more powerful than purpose.
Ask yourself why, openly and often.
8) Life is relationship.
The quality of your relationships determine the quality of your business and the quality of your life.
9) In your relationships, always respond to attack and aggression with empathy and kindness.
Keep on loving, even when you’ve been hurt.
10) Always tell the truth. Especially to yourself.
Children Learn What They Live.
If children live with CRITICISM, they learn to CONDEMN
If children live with HOSTILITY, they learn to FIGHT
If children live with RIDICULE, they learn to BE SHY
If children live with SHAME, they learn to FEEL GUILTY
If children live with TOLERANCE, they learn to BE PATIENT
If children live with ENCOURAGEMENT, they learn to HAVE CONFIDENCE
If children live with PRAISE, they learn to APPRECIATE
If children live with FAIRNESS, they learn JUSTICE
If children live with SECURITY, they learn to HAVE FAITH
If children live with APPROVAL, they learn to LIKE THEMSELVES
If children live with ACCEPTANCE and FRIENDSHIP, they learn to FIND LOVE IN THE WORLD.
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